A Sample Wedding Sermon

With the growing trend of couples asking a friend to be an officiant, the odds are higher than they used to be that you’ll be asked to perform the service for one of your buddies. When that day comes, there are plenty of resources online to help you structure the ceremony, tell you what to do in what order, that sort of thing. But what they can’t tell you is what to say before the ceremony proper begins.

When I was called on to officiate a friend’s wedding, we realized that without some kind of introduction--the secular equivalent of a sermon--the whole ceremony would last less time than it took for the guests to get seated. So I sat down and wrote a message to deliver on the day. If you get tapped to be an officiant, you can use this as inspiration, or a template, or a cautionary tale of what not to do. Just make sure to run whatever you write by the bride and groom before the ceremony, and you’ll be good to go.

A few weeks before the wedding day, I asked the couple what love meant to both of them. Sam said, “She makes me a better person, because I try to be a better person for her.”

Rachael said, “We've helped each other grow and become who we are today, and will continue to grow with each other to become what we will be tomorrow. We have come to unconditional love.”

Sam and Rachael have come to unconditional love. They’ve build a home together with one another.

Next, I asked what marriage meant to them, and they both had the same answer (which is for the best): It’s just a public profession of what already is there. They don’t think it will change anything.

Now, I won't argue whether marriage changes something or what importance to place on it. But for me it was like this:

I've lived in a lot of places since moving out of my parent's house.

I've rented a lot of apartments.

You wake up, you eat, sleep, you have routines in that place.

And it feels like home.

And when you buy a house, it's the same thing, really. You don't anticipate any change. You do the same things you always do.

Then you stand late at night in the living room and you think, "Mine. This is mine."

I submit that marriage is changing your rent into a mortgage. Even if you were in a 50-year-lease before, it's something exciting and new.

When I married my wife, when we left the beach where we got married, I looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both thought, "This is ours."

So maybe your mileage will vary on this. But please, do this: tonight, look into your partner's eyes, and in your mind, say "Mine." And say "Ours."'

And I'm sure you've done that very thing before. You may be doing it now. But I hope you feel even a fraction of that sudden rush we felt.

Welcome home.