Some Honest Wedding Advice

For the purposes of this article, let’s say that we get plenty of email from people who are planning a wedding, seeking our sage advice on everything from selecting music to tactfully telling someone they’re not invited. Most of the time, we just ignore those emails, because we don’t usually do an advice column. But now we’ve finally taken pity on the actual real people who totally sent in these questions, and decided to print our very first wedding advice column. Read on to get told.

Q: Can I have my female friend be my best man? How does that work?
Absolutely! You can have a best woman/lady/girl if the mood strikes you, just as you can certainly have a Man of Honor if you’d like to. If the bro who’s been there for you through thick and thin is actually a sis, you shouldn’t hesitate putting her on the groomsmen side of the wedding party. We’ve seen Best Women dress in the same tuxedo the groomsmen are wearing, dress like the bridesmaids but stand on the groom’s side, or just wear a stylish dress that matches the wedding colors. But yes, definitely go for it.

Q: Can I wear white even if I don’t “deserve to?”
Who exactly is going to be checking whether or not you “deserve” to? Honestly, this is a tradition that just doesn’t have any place in a 2015 wedding. If you’ve slept with no one or everyone, it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own. So go ahead and wear white. Wear yellow. Wear red! You do you.

Q: Do I HAVE to invite kids to my wedding?
Well, of course not. It’s your wedding; you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Grandma and Grandpa would slow the reception party down? Don’t invite them! Little sister’s a better dancer than you and makes you look bad on the dance floor? Don’t invite her! Don’t like kids? Leave them off the guest list! It’s your day.

On the other hand, though, it’s also a day for your friends and relatives to gather around you and celebrate you. Are there people on your guest list who would have trouble getting child care, but that you would definitely miss if they didn’t show? If the answer’s yes, then you might have to overcome your fear of children and have the little tykes attend. If your budget allows, just hire a babysitting service to take care of the kids while the adults get down. It’s your day--but do not overlook the other people, too.

Q: Do I HAVE to do a bouquet or garter toss?
Oh, heavens no; especially not the garter toss. Plenty of brides are opting out of both of these antiquated traditions. There’s just something about throwing flowers so single women can make a mad scramble to pick them up that seems demeaning, somehow. And while we all can agree that the groom should take the bride’s clothes off on the wedding night, he doesn’t have to get a head start at the reception. We say pack up both of those old traditions and replace them with something everyone can enjoy, like more time to hit the open bar.

We hope you enjoyed the first installment of our advice column. We’ll be back with another after we’ve had time to collect another vast and totally real selection of email messages from readers like you.